Usually, at the end of every year I do an in depth reflection post on my status. I discuss the struggles, triumphs, and everything had in between. I express my gratitude, my love, my commitments. 2017 was indeed a “hangover” year. Recovering from the beatdown 2016 had on my mind, body, and soul...accomplishments included.
2017 had its fair share of experiences and learning moments as well though. I was tried in every arena from faith to emotional stability. I learned of my resilience...as I experienced everything so deeply and intensely that I often wished I could turn off my ability to feel anything at all. Getting through that taught me not only am I strong...but I am tougher than I know. In 2017 i’ve never felt any less sane....I thought I was losing my mind on multiple occasions and I learned not only to anchor, but to keep pushing...because no one is more a match for the darkness of my mind than I am. I learned perseverance... period. There was no task I began that I didn’t complete... even if it did push me to the brinks of exhaustion beyond recognition. I learned to redirect...and be in the now. By focusing on my commitment to the practice of Kung fu and art I was able to learn to be in the moment and not allow the anxieties of tomorrow or the shortcomings of yesterday influence my performance today. I learned that I must stop overcommitting and oversharing of myself because it’s very often to my detriment. I learned to swim in my magick, be confident in my magick, to trust in my magick and to commit to my magick because I am both creator and created. Last of all I learned that this was only the warm up... that each and every one of these lessons and trials were to prepare me for what’s to come.
So even though we are embarking on a new year...there will not be a new me. I have worked entirely too hard to get the old me where I am. With the new year I will be recommitting to mastery of self...and the expression of that mastery. I will take my time and I will take care of me. I will commit to the continuous refinement of who I am and commit to the magic of every single breath I take knowing that there will be good days, bad days, between days...and that all of that is ok because it’s another day.