The fact that human beings are social creatures should be of no surprise to anyone. From the moment we humans take our first breaths, everything we do is to illicit a social response from someone, anyone who'll give it to us. As babies we cry to get what we want, as children we ask questions, as teens we challenge ideas and try to express ourselves as individuals and finally, as adults we make decisions based on the values and ideas we've developed as teens through our various forms of expression, challenge, rebellion, and cooperation with the societal norms as well as the interpersonal relationships we have with close friends and family. That being said, this post can go in a variety of directions but I'm going to specifically focus on the concepts of socialization as it relates to individual people being around others vs isolation as it relates not to punishment but to separating one's self from outside influence and suggestion you would commonly find in dealing with peers.
Most of the people I surround myself with have a rebellious spirit on some level or another. Through words, actions, interests, and methods of self education, we try to stand out from the crowd and what's accepted as "normal". That "rebellious spirit", as I phrased it, manifests itself in a variety of ways, depending on the individual in question, but exists nonetheless. A friend of mine had got to talking about life, some of the current challenges they are dealing with, and how it all gets to be overwhelming. They then proceeded to say "I need to just stop and think about the direction my life is heading." To which I couldn't have agreed with more. I say this because very often, (as is the case with this friend) we get so caught up in the flow of daily life which includes and relies heavily on the interaction we have with different people, friendly or not, to validate how we feel, what we feel, when we feel it, and whether or not its appropriate. We very often forget to sit back and weigh our own options and judge things from our own perspective even if that means being the only one with that particular view on the topic. Again, the need to socialize or illicit a social response from someone (preferably another human being) is in our nature from the moment we take our first breaths as a human being (Socialization). And since our societal structure is largely based on a social interaction ranging from accepted and understood conformity, to solid laws, to the institutions we attend from a young age (hospitals, schools, religious centers, etc.) we very often forget that we are our own person capable of thinking, feeling, acting, believing and perceiving the world on our own. We forget willingly so as to avoid being ridiculed and labeled as the outcast or the trouble maker; for fear of being labeled as crazy and locked away somewhere we'll be forgotten and left to entertain those very different beliefs that landed us there in the first place, cold and alone.We forget unwillingly in playing "the game" and trying to appear as normal on the outside; curling up the sides of our lips into a fake but friendly appearing smile, apologizing for things we have no business apologizing for, speaking in a manner so as to be "politically correct" and in the process embracing the role we project as being who we are and forgetting who we REALLY are. Yes, socialization validates the world around us as being "real". When you see the same thing I see it's determined that thing is indeed real, but are you really seeing what I'm seeing? Or are you AGREEING that you and I are seeing the same thing? Knowing the socialization game will get you your dates, get you your promotions, get you noticed, but at what point do you stop being you? Too many people are afraid of being alone.
ALONE; the way you entered this world and the way you'll leave it. No amount of social connections, conformity, going with the flow, and validation on anyone else's part can challenge, protect or deny THAT fact of life. ALONE; with the only person who should matter in making life decisions, in trust, in love, in faith. Do we give up our sanctuary so we can hide behind the artificial sanctuary provided by blending with the crowd?
As I've advised my friend, sometimes taking time out to think on your own. away from outside influences, without worrying about who is going to accept you, without needing to be validated, is the best thing you can do for yourself. The matrix doesn't exist when you are alone; neither does politics, organized religion, education, social class, race, gender, intelligence, or any other label designed to separate rather than unify. Isolation is viewed as a punishment, but it's a reward. Like being sent to your room as a child. YOUR space, YOUR sanctuary, YOUR thoughts...the only thing you actually OWN in this world. I urge YOU the reader to take some time to yourself, explore that sanctuary of isolation. Turn off your phones, laptops, FACEBOOK!, and get to know yourself again. The next time you have to make a big decision, think about it without outside influence to yourself FIRST, and then if need be share it with your friends. A wise man always accepts counsel but makes their own decisions! This could not occur without the ability to think for yourself from the depths of isolation however brief it may be!
