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A student of the human mind...a searcher...an advisor...a teacher... loves easily and easy to love. Come share with me...:)

Friday, January 28, 2011

Institutional failure: building a dependent relationship on institutional services


I recently had a very interesting conversation with a friend of mine with aspirations to go into the medical field and the conversation ended on the topic of institutions and my feelings about them especially in the American society (namely because thats the only type of institution I'm familiar with). Interestingly enough in this conversation I referenced a blog post that I posted when I first started this blog. located here and one quote in specific that I mentioned was as follows,
I've noticed an institutional trend since a very young age...you are only equipped with the tools necessary to barely get through that institution. This is true of hospitals, jails/prisons, foster homes/orphanages, other service/product oriented institutions, and my focal point schools.

Now, in that post I was talking about schools and the quality of education specifically and I stayed on topic. Here however the focal point is institutions, up to and including school systems; but also the relationship that is created between one and the respective institution and the failure that institution ultimately has on the individual and moreover, the community it exists in. Examining the quote some might say that I am exaggerating a bit but look at it: If you spend any considerable amount of time in an institution you get what's called "institutionalized". This statement is most commonly applied to career criminals who spend extended periods of time in prison systems. Why do you think they are "career criminals" though? Imagine living in an environment like that for lets say a period of 10 years. You're told when to rise, when to sleep, when to relieve yourself, when to exercise, what to wear, when to eat, what to eat, virtually every aspect to your living is controlled and dictated to you. Now imagine being released into the "free world" and having to adjust to making your own decisions, for many it's not an easy task. They go and they do something to land them back in a prison and they continue to live out their life that way.It becomes all they know. It's also true of people in the military. Many people come back from a very similarly controlled environment and don't know how to interact in the civilian world so they reenlist. Even on a less exaggerated level such as hospitals and schools the statement I made holds truth. You are equipped with just enough to get by. Furthermore, in that process you are indoctrinated to accept, believe, and follow up on that interaction with that institution. I recently posted on Facebook a status that asks of my peers what did you learn in high school and I proceeded to list the things that stand out in terms of my memory about high school. Do you know that among the list of things I listed not one did I learn in a classroom? The "academic" tools I was "given" in high school prepared me and allowed me to get through those four years and forget pretty much everything that I "learned" years later. In fact, the things I actually DID learn included information about the street such as there are ways for young people to purchase tobacco and liquor being underage and a crash course on sex and how to approach it and even where and how to purchase marijuana if the need ever arose. As a teenager in high school my education system failed me and prepared me for a life on the street with a high school diploma.

Let's examine lastly the field of medicine and the medical institution here in America. I'm going to use an analogy in terms of how the medicine system here seems to work. How many of us know what causes a headache? Not very many... but how many of us know how to cure one? (hands raising rapidly!!!) Ok Mr. Smith, how do you cure a headache? "Simple, you take a tylenol, asprin, aleve, advil, I mean there are a bunch of pills on the market to get rid of a headache!" ...and you are wrong Mr. Smith sit down please. The aforementioned drugs do NOT cure headaches but rather tricks your body into not minding it. A headache is most often caused by lack of sufficient blood flow to the brain and rather than attempting to find out why that occurs we pay pharmaceutical companies billions in "curing" our headaches rather than 1) determining the real cause of that headache and 2) making the necessary lifestyle changes to prevent that headache from coming back. In this pattern and learned dependency on institutions a cycle develops, our pockets (and brains) are emptied, and we get caught on the hamster wheel running and running and running.

In closing, I'm not saying all institutions are evil and you should stay away. I'm saying that you should make yourself aware of the relationship that develops, the tendency of that institution to fail you due to your lack of preparation and skills/tools on the part of the institution and your taking advantage of what you ARE provided with and making something out of it. The institutions in this country are BUSINESS institutions that depend on a dependent relationship with its users. Like with all business's you have to provide a special kind of service to keep you customers coming back to YOU! If you however, under the guise of an almighty source of "help" to the community via "saving your country" "locking up your criminals" "educating your youth" "healing your wounds" or otherwise...you ARE going to give them your business...and if you're not careful and aware...you'll become dependent on that institution and it will ultimately fail you and drain you of everything in the process if you are not careful.

Wednesday, January 19, 2011

Taking my own advice... :)

Very often is the case where one will give advice to someone,(be it effective and positive or ineffective and negative) and later end up in the same or a similar situation and NOT take their own advice! On paper it sounds unheard of however its much more common, as many of you may know, than its not.

Taking one's own advice is tough. For starters you have to strip yourself of ego...Let me repeat that...FOR STARTERS YOU HAVE TO STRIP YOURSELF OF EGO!!! I place such an emphasis on this due to the fact that the ego is a powerful tool, often misused to create delusions of grandeur and/or denying truths about who, what, and how you are. If you're closed to accepting that you have issues due to your massive ego, then you will be closed to seeking help (from yourself or otherwise) for those issues as well. Very often I give advice on situations and I'm like "where the hell did that come from?!" ...sounds real good haha

Once you identify your issues you take the advice of your heart...the advice you would give to someone else about how to accomplish that issue. My experience has allowed me to train people in weightlifting and dieting, on managing money, on relationships, on writing, and dealing with people as a whole. Very often I take what I would say to someone else on the topic and do it myself...and then other times I do not...I'm only human :)


"You see a lot, Doctor. But are you strong enough to point that high-powered perception at yourself? What about it? Why don't you - why don't you look at yourself and write down what you see? Or maybe you're afraid to. "


That quote is from the famous "Silence of the Lambs" movie...via Clarice Starling to Hannibal Lector. How many of you could actually do that? How many people aren't afraid?

I digress however....
With my goals of weight loss, working out regularly, eating better, saving money, achieving success in the work place and more...you have to name your goal, make it a focus, and go after it. With weight loss I know you have to fire up your metabolism, work out, and eat correctly. I eat every two hours maybe something small and QUALITY. (no junk) I write down everything I eat and drink. I drink only water (with lemon), coffee sometimes and thats all so far as I've started this. I try to get cardio in through dancing or running. WRITE EVERYTHING DOWN! You want to stay on top of things....THIS IS THE KEY! Your goals on paper will make you want to do them. Will REMIND YOU whats going on. WILL CHART YOUR PROGRESS!! And like I said...I'm taking my own advice...so listen to yourself...cast aside your ego...you'll be fine :) ;-)

Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Growing Pains: Self Focus and reflection


With the arrival of the new year a lot of people are determined to make and (hopefully) keep up with resolutions that usually don't last past the first few months. I addressed this slightly in my last post where I suggested that rather than have resolutions we should develop a goal and focus. Well what about those people who have a goal and a focus? What about those people who have the will and discipline to go after the things they want and maintain it throughout the year? What causes THEIR ultimate failure? My answer: Peer pressure of course!

A very real issue I find facing this class of individual is peer pressure. Now peer pressure isn't just that phenomena you experience in your pre-late teen years. Peer pressure exists throughout your life...and the attacks or "pressure" become more and more subtle as those trying to pressure you age and refine their techniques!

*brief scenario* You drink beer and eat mcdonald burgers all year round and notice "my...I have quite a belly now! This year I plan to stop drinking beer and eating fastfood." The year starts and you hang out with friends who still drink beer and eat burgers...they ask if you want, you decline and this pattern continues lets say every friday of the first month until you say to your friends look! I'm not going to drink...respect that or I won't come out with you! They stop offering but hassle you for not being "fun" anymore and you still go out. You're watching your friends drink, you want to but you know you shouldn't. It gets late...2am...everyone is hungry...you go to Mcdonalds...you are hungry as well and you see everyone chowing on mcdonald burgers and stumbling over from all the beer they had. You have a brief moment of weakness and think 1 mc'chicken won't hurt...BAM! You have just created your excuse and failure for the rest of the year! ...and there's always next year anyway right?

Now some would debate that this issue is indeed an issue of discipline rather than peer pressure...and indeed it depends on the individual involved. Without the external element, the individual indeed may have succeeded...

For those victims of this there's not much to say but there is hope to be had. You are now at a cross roads... You have to decide if making yourself happy is more important than making your friends happy; and deeper still, you have to decide if those friends are worth keeping around...at least on a consistent social level or if its better to live out the friendship through distance...phones, emails, skpye..c'mon we live in a digital age! A plan and a focus...you have..now you just need to reflect; figuratively and literally! Trying to loose weight? Before going out with those hassling friends take off all your clothes and look in the mirror...ask yourself at the end of that night is this beer or burger REALLY going to contribute to loosing that? Drugs and liquor? Look at your job or potential job opportunities...is this stuff in my system worth NOT being employed? This year, 2011 is about YOU! and making YOU happy! Focus FOCUS FOCUS!!!! and then reach for the things you want to achieve...remove yourself from things that will slow you down (that includes friends and family and yes prepare for the occasional asshole/bitch term being applied to you! ) and reach out and embrace those things that will increase progression...even if its that scary unknown! Goodluck guys!

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

The end of old...the start of a new!


2011! WOW!

So I'm still getting a feel for things as to the direction I want to take this blog...the design...the content...but one thing will remain...my overall "Ugly Truth" theme. It seems almost pointless to me to create a separate blog for "personal" entries and then maintain both...for all of you "non bloggers" out there, maintaining a blog is TOUGH!

So 2010 ended smoothly and 2011 started strong. I didn't create a farewell '10 post due to my presence and activities in New York (visiting) however I caught wind of a light moment and decided to take advantage.
With 2011 what can you expect from Rahkim? Better yet, with 2011 what can you expect from YOURSELF?...Yes you, the reader. I decided to do away with the "resolutions" and set goals and focus. Goals financially and academically, spiritually physically mentally, and to place an emphasis on the FOCUS I exert in these areas. Rather than say I want to lose weight and be in shape the GOAL is to have a healthier overall appearance and existence. The Focus? Eating better, exercising more, and dealing with stress better through itemized management. Do a lot of writing, taking notes, marking calenders so that you can always stay on your game.

I want to take the time in this space to acknowledge all the readers who've been keeping up with me since day 1... the silent observers and those who comment and share my work...THANK YOU!

Besides that guys, it's really all up in the air. Have a blessed 2011...go in with a positive attitude, with strength, with courage, with an OPEN MIND! Be like the Phoenix, starting a-new but bringing with you the experience and wisdom of the old! HAPPY NEW YEAR!