Growing Pains: Self Focus and reflection

With the arrival of the new year a lot of people are determined to make and (hopefully) keep up with resolutions that usually don't last past the first few months. I addressed this slightly in my last post where I suggested that rather than have resolutions we should develop a goal and focus. Well what about those people who have a goal and a focus? What about those people who have the will and discipline to go after the things they want and maintain it throughout the year? What causes THEIR ultimate failure? My answer: Peer pressure of course!

A very real issue I find facing this class of individual is peer pressure. Now peer pressure isn't just that phenomena you experience in your pre-late teen years. Peer pressure exists throughout your life...and the attacks or "pressure" become more and more subtle as those trying to pressure you age and refine their techniques!

*brief scenario* You drink beer and eat mcdonald burgers all year round and notice "my...I have quite a belly now! This year I plan to stop drinking beer and eating fastfood." The year starts and you hang out with friends who still drink beer and eat burgers...they ask if you want, you decline and this pattern continues lets say every friday of the first month until you say to your friends look! I'm not going to drink...respect that or I won't come out with you! They stop offering but hassle you for not being "fun" anymore and you still go out. You're watching your friends drink, you want to but you know you shouldn't. It gets late...2am...everyone is hungry...you go to Mcdonalds...you are hungry as well and you see everyone chowing on mcdonald burgers and stumbling over from all the beer they had. You have a brief moment of weakness and think 1 mc'chicken won't hurt...BAM! You have just created your excuse and failure for the rest of the year! ...and there's always next year anyway right?

Now some would debate that this issue is indeed an issue of discipline rather than peer pressure...and indeed it depends on the individual involved. Without the external element, the individual indeed may have succeeded...

For those victims of this there's not much to say but there is hope to be had. You are now at a cross roads... You have to decide if making yourself happy is more important than making your friends happy; and deeper still, you have to decide if those friends are worth keeping around...at least on a consistent social level or if its better to live out the friendship through distance...phones, emails, skpye..c'mon we live in a digital age! A plan and a focus...you have..now you just need to reflect; figuratively and literally! Trying to loose weight? Before going out with those hassling friends take off all your clothes and look in the mirror...ask yourself at the end of that night is this beer or burger REALLY going to contribute to loosing that? Drugs and liquor? Look at your job or potential job opportunities...is this stuff in my system worth NOT being employed? This year, 2011 is about YOU! and making YOU happy! Focus FOCUS FOCUS!!!! and then reach for the things you want to achieve...remove yourself from things that will slow you down (that includes friends and family and yes prepare for the occasional asshole/bitch term being applied to you! ) and reach out and embrace those things that will increase progression...even if its that scary unknown! Goodluck guys!